Often we ask ourselves, “Will this make me happy?” when making decisions. But research reveals that predicting future happiness is extremely difficult. What is possible, though, is understanding how a decision will affect you here and now—and that shift in perspective is far more useful.
Instead of focusing on whether something will make you happy, ask: “Will this choice enlarge me or diminish me?” When you frame choices in terms of growth, dignity, courage, or integrity, you have a clearer lens to evaluate them—and you’re less likely to fall into regret or disappointment.
Here’s how to apply this mindset:
- Evaluate based on personal growth. Ask whether a choice helps you learn something, stretch your capabilities, or build your character—things that tend to have lasting value.
- Consider how it aligns with your values. When decisions honor your core principles, they tend to feel more meaningful—even when they’re hard or imperfect.
- Notice whether it lifts you up or drains you. If something leaves you feeling smaller, less confident, or unhappy right away, it might not be the right path—even if the outcome seems “successful.”
- Practice this lens in everyday decisions. Try it with small stuff: what invoice to pay first, what hobby to take up, where to spend your downtime. Over time, this questioning becomes intuitive.
When you make decisions under this framework, you shift from chasing an elusive idea of happiness to honoring what sustains you. That builds resilience and satisfaction because your choices reflect growth, self-respect, and meaning—not just superficial success.
