If someone had told me two decades ago that I’d be happier in my 70s than ever before, I’d probably have laughed. In my middle years, I believed happiness was a destination—something to reach once I earned enough, achieved enough, or “settled.” Over time, though, I’ve come to see that peace didn’t arrive because I added more to my life, but because I stopped doing certain things.
Now, at 73, I wake up with a quiet sense of contentment. I’m not wealthy. I feel aches. But I’m more at ease than ever. Here are ten habits I abandoned—and how giving them up changed everything:
- Trying to control everything
In younger years, I micromanaged every situation, made backup plans for backups, and hated uncertainty. Letting go of that compulsion brought more calm than I ever expected. - Comparing my life to others’
I used to scroll through highlight reels and wonder what I lacked. Over time, I realized everyone’s journey is unique—and focusing on my own path brought clarity and gratitude. - Pretending I had infinite time
In youth, everything feels endless. In my seventies, I’ve felt time’s finiteness. Recognizing this made me act on what matters now—calling old friends, watching sunsets, living more fully. - Chasing approval
I spent decades living through the expectations of others. Realizing that I don’t need constant validation freed me to make choices aligned with who I really am. - Holding grudges
I used to replay past hurts in my mind. Now I make peace—not by pretending the pain didn’t exist, but by refusing to let it steer my present. - Ignoring my body’s warnings
I once pushed through fatigue and discomfort as though I were immortal. Now I listen to my body’s whispers—rest, nourish, rest—and honor what it needs. - Trying to fix everyone else
Earlier, I intervened in loved ones’ challenges, offering solutions whether they asked for them or not. Now I support more quietly—listening, offering empathy, and letting others find their strength. - Fearing solitude
I used to see silence as loneliness. But being alone now feels like presence. In quiet moments, I hear my thoughts, breathe deeply, and reset. - Measuring success by external markers
I once equated worth with promotions, milestones, and wealth. Now I define success by inner peace, connection, meaningful work, and waking without dread. - Postponing gratitude
I reserved thanks for big events, but real gratitude lives in small, everyday moments—warm coffee, a dog’s greeting, an ordinary conversation. Counting these gifts nightly changed my view of life.
Freedom in letting go
If I offered one piece of advice, it’s this: happiness isn’t found by acquiring more—it’s revealed by removing what blocks it. The habits I abandoned came from fear—fear of being inadequate, of losing control. Letting them go wasn’t passive. It took strength to unlearn who I thought I needed to be and to embrace who I already am.
