A child psychologist who studied more than 200 children says there is one parenting approach that stands out when it comes to raising high-achieving kids. According to her observations, the most effective style is not striving to be your child’s best friend—but rather combining firm guidance with emotional support.
She explains that this balanced method involves setting clear, consistent rules while also being attentive to a child’s feelings and needs. Rather than oscillating between strict discipline and permissiveness, this style maintains a steady, caring stance that fosters confidence, self-discipline, and trust.
Under this approach, parents aim to:
- Provide structure: Establish rules and expectations so children understand boundaries.
- Be supportive: Listen to children’s concerns, validate feelings, and be emotionally available.
- Encourage growth: Offer challenges and responsibilities appropriate to their age, while guiding them when needed.
- Communicate clearly: Explain the reasons behind rules or decisions, rather than just enforcing them.
- Adjust with age: Adapt the balance of autonomy and oversight as children mature.
According to the expert, children raised under this style tend to develop better self-regulation, healthier communication skills, and greater resilience when facing setbacks. In contrast, parenting approaches that lean too heavily toward permissiveness or authoritarian control may undermine long-term confidence or lead to rebellion or insecurity.
She emphasizes that true success in raising children is not about being their friend but becoming a guide who nurtures both discipline and emotional connection. This balanced parenting style may not be easy to implement consistently, but its benefits—sustained respect, maturity, and trust—can make it one of the most effective tools for helping children flourish.
