According to a Stanford expert, being congenial in the workplace—prioritizing niceness—does not necessarily lead to success or enhanced influence. What truly helps is demonstrating competence, standing firm in your principles, and delivering results that others can’t ignore.
Niceness can sometimes be mistaken for weakness or passivity, especially when people expect agreement rather than challenge. The expert advises that influence is more often gained by those who are willing to speak up, take appropriate risks, and push back when needed—without being aggressive, but also without being overly accommodating.
Another factor is visibility: consistently taking on work that has impact, making sure accomplishments are noticed, and building trust through reliability are key. Rather than trying to please everyone, one should focus on earning respect by being dependable and by bringing solutions, not just harmony.
Lastly, strategic relationships matter. Aligning with mentors or allies who recognize and can amplify your contributions helps. It’s less about being liked universally and more about being respected and taken seriously.
