Most people start conversations with the same old question: “How are you?” But according to psychology experts, this is the least effective way to spark meaningful connections. It sets the stage for predictable, unmemorable answers like “Busy, but good.” Successful people know that trust and likability begin in the very first seconds of an interaction, and they use smarter techniques to stand out.
1. Skip the Standard Scripts
If you want to make people open up, avoid generic questions like “What’s up?” or “How’s it going?” Instead, try light, curiosity-driven alternatives that invite excitement. For example:
- “What’s been the highlight of your week so far?”
- “Any big wins lately?”
- “Working on anything exciting these days?”
2. Ask About Joy and Excitement
People love sharing what they enjoy. Make it a habit to ask about fun plans or memorable moments:
- On Mondays or Tuesdays: “Did you do anything fun last weekend?”
- Midweek: “What’s been exciting for you this week?”
- Toward the weekend: “Got any fun plans coming up?”
- Before holidays: “Looking forward to anything special?”
This small shift encourages people to open up with stories, instantly building trust and connection.
3. Respond Creatively to “How Are You?”
When others ask how you’re doing, avoid leading with complaints or negativity. Instead, give responses that show personality and energy, such as:
- “Running on caffeine and a dream.”
- “Good enough that I remembered to floss today.”
- “Hanging in there like a cat on a motivational poster.”
These lighthearted replies make you memorable and approachable.
4. Master Your Body Language
Words alone aren’t enough — your body communicates more powerfully. To appear open and trustworthy:
- Keep arms uncrossed and face people directly.
- Offer a confident handshake: firm but not forceful.
- On video calls, lean in slightly and mirror gestures like nodding to show alignment.
5. Practice Every Day
Like any skill, connection-building improves with practice. Start small in everyday situations — chatting with cashiers, neighbors, or Uber drivers. Test new questions, refine your body language, and observe how others respond. Over time, these habits become natural, helping you build rapport quickly in any situation.
The key takeaway: Successful people don’t just ask questions; they create moments of energy, positivity, and authenticity. That’s how they earn trust and leave a lasting impression.
